I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
