HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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