Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
