Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
