that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
