but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
