It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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