I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
