i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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