I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
