OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
