Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he wants to bone in the snuggie
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
