4 words: hood of his car
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
