So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
