How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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