Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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