I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
