Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
