if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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