please come you make the beer taste better
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
