This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Two words: nipple clamps
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