why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
