i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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