It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
