Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
