I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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