I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
