I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize