he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
