Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just want nice things and good sex
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
