You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize