I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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