mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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