Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think I sprained my soul last night
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
