My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
