You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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