I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
