you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
