barbara walters just said penis...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I need mimosas to revive my soul
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
