He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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