How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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