Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
