Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we're making bets on your personal life
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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