Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
