We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
