When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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