its not stalking. its research.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
