So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
