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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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