Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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