What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
