We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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