That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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