I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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