11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
