We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
