I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
