I must be too annoying 4 u.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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