I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
