ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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