Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
