What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
