sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
