He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I skipped work to stalk him.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
