i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
worst night to have a conscience
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So much rum. So many feels.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
