I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
