I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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