The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
