I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
