I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
so explain again why im purple
no
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
