I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
