Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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