That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
