sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
