take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
