did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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